mind blower

my sensitiveity seems to be getting the better of me form all directions really. hubbies is taking soem medication at the miute and is making him all spaced out. he getting frustrated and very forgetful, whereby he then proceeds to be angry and absuive toward me, I ve told him to calm down and stop being so up tight all the time and agressive but he does nt seem to be hearing me cause of what the tablets are doing. It s upsetting me very much. horrible remarks and swearing at meall the time is not nice. In fact this was what brought me really down last year and started my stress off then and then depression. it got so bad i phoned the doctor up and told him to stop giving him repaet prescriptions and to make him see him. Hubbis has gout so maybe the pain is so bad that he cant handle the pain and is unwittingly taking it out om me. So really now instead of retreating i ve got to talk this out this year. He S upsetting me again this morning like yesterday and i feel like crying, instead of keeping it in i ll tlak it out i suppose. The damming remarks, get lost, sod, off shut the fuck up, getthe fuck out lines he says over and over again are wearing me down. He is obviously got alot on his mind and it comes out as this but im not going to let the remarks get to me this time only to ask him to get himslef sorted out with the doctor and he should continue to eat the things he does to bring it on then i can only put up with so much.
It annoys me that he puts a brave face on things when he s other people and lets rip with horrible commets towards me. He starts saying that its not al his falut as we then start to argue about other rthings instead of talking decently. He's all for saying one should talk at the table with other things but then he cant do it himslef when hes in pain. THis brings me to the point of the fact that we could of employed a manager to take some stress away from him last month and he said no. so ive tried. Maybe i ought to write a letter to him , so he can see how he is. He does nt even have the patients towards little man when he s like this. i thank god he doent strike out but then soemtimes its as if i wish he would so i could say right thats it enoughs enough s . how long does one carry one putting up with someones pain... he s had to put up with mine ..... but then im getting better and will only dive deep agagin if i get verbaly abused allthe time and cant escape from it
just like my mum would unwittingly ssy things to me becuse she could nt cope with her stress and pain

Just realised that huubie want me to do the things that his mum use to do for him and im use to my dad did everything.