If anyone out ther has problems wth getting on with there mother then email me,
My mother, does nt communicate properly with me, so much so that she gets angry and is rude when she has something on her mind. Its a difficult siuation as this leaves me unloved, lost and sad.
She does t know what she does or doesn t say and how upsetting it is.
She was nt there for me whan i grew up as a teenager and i now i struggle with not doing the same thing to my own son.
She loves me and is proud of me but the way she says it and her lack of confidence and being in touch with her true feelings makes it all come out wrong.
I live in termoil because of this, not being able to turn to your mother when she is there is worse than her not being there.
My dad saddly i so miss him, we use to talk for hours on the phone together about things i miss him dearly and greatly.
Having had various stresse in my life up unitl now i ve onl just been able to get more in touch with my feelings, and by also coming off anti depressants. It really hurts that i realy have no parents to talk to. I feel vunerable and helpless, lost, angry and stressed and i want to feel at peace with myslef to be able to continue life in a better way than i have been. Ie, panick and anxiety attacks.
Its dawned on me today, whilst talking to my hubby that this maybe the major contributing factor and root of my depression for so many years.
Its scary and uncomfortable, but also i look to ssek a new beginning and a new pathway and a way forward.
I ve also been thinking that now i should, as well as accept that crying now and again is good to let out feelings as i have been alot lately that i should look to the positive things.
First i should tell you that my dad was a wonderful man, i use todo everything with him, wash the car, go for walks, and do the shopping with him, spend hours fixing the car with him, clean the house with him, cook dinner with him , wash up on sundays twith him whilst mother was in bed.
I even worked with him and loved working with him, I walked down the aisle with him holding my hand.
I understood my dad, we walked and talked on the phone alot and and i miss him soooooo much.
He was an engineer, passionate about architecture and buildings and structures and I am an engineer and passionate in the same way too.
He struggled in life to bring us up and as well as looking after mum. His life was cut short so undeservedly.....
I have in with me in my heart and in may ways like him too.
I miss you dad .....
But now i have my own family.. i love them too....
Give your dad a hug today won t you